Sunday, March 7, 2010

Jokes - 2

this is the second part


Udurawana : What is the name of your car ?
Friend : I forgot the name, but starts with "T".
Udurawana : Ohoo your car start by Tea, And My car start by petrol


Udurawana told his servant: Go and water the plants
Servant: It`s already raining
Udurawana: So what? Take an umbrella and go.


Udurawana - why r all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?


Udurawana complained 2 Police: Sir all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.
Police: How the thief did not take TV???
Udurawana: I was watching TV news...


Interviewer: just imagine your in 3 rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Udurawana : its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!


Udurawana rushed back angrily to grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago the "Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper.
"But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter."
The shopkeeper answered politely "Don't fool me," replied Udurawana, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free' but you gave me only butter .


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Udurawana a Sinhalese living in USA.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Udu says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Udu says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Udu says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who has all the required qualifications & experience I am looking for and speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

(Please scroll Down)

Calmly, Udu turns to the other candidate and says ` Kohomada Machan?

The other candidate answers ' Ammata Udu......... .umbath Sinhalada??. ......... ..Me Yakata (Bill Gate) pissu Machang


Dear Mr. Bill Gates (is that your real name? funny),

This letter is from the Udurawana from the Kandy Hilly's. We have
bought a Computer with Microsoft for first time to our home and we
big problems , which I want to be bringing to your notices.

1. After connect to internet we planned to open e-mail account so
we filled the form in Hotmail in the password box but something funny
happens only ******appears (stars), but in the rest whatever we typed
letters and numbers appears nicely , but we face this problem only in
password box.

The user book told if there is problem check with hardware but when we
to check it with hardware vendor in the town (Kandy Hardware Stores)
bugger got angry and shouted and said 'Get out' that he can't understand
the computer problem, so don't tell to check with any hardware
in future
because those fellows are crazy. We tried and tried to open the e-mail
account typing stars ***** but no success at all. I request you to
this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. Can you give a secret code for the HOTmail so only I can see the HOT
stuff. I don't want my wife and child to see any of the HOTmails. Also
give some COOL mail for my wife and TEEN mail for my Son.

3. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button
and have to re-start everytime we want to type a new letter. Is it a
Virus? If so to which Doctor should I go to check the Computer Virus ?

4. There is a button ' Start' but there is no " Stop" button.
We request you to check this and put a Stop too.

5. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend in
Kandy clicked
'run' and has run and run so far but computer did not still tell him to
stop ! So, he told me not to ever use "Run' we request you to change
to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting and don't have to run
anywhere ..

6. Is there any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I have only scooter at my home as I can't cycle due to
pain .

7. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
door key and we tried and tried a lot for tracing the key with this
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

8. Same way even the 'Save' button is not working. Last week we were
going on a walk by the lake and my Mother-in-Law fell into the Kandy
so I quickly went home and pressed the 'Save' button but when I got back
the lake she was dead. But anyway there was some good in that because
now we got her param-parava generation house on the Kandy Hills. But
it is
important that it should work from now.

9. Another big problem, every night I am not sleeping well as
I have to protect the 'mouse' from our CAT. So I suggest u to
a DOG instead of the mouse so I can rest in peace !

10. My child learnt 'Microsoft Word' so now he wants to be learning
'Microsoft Sentence', so when can you give him a good Sentance ?

11. I am in doubt so tell me what kind of Curtains should I
buy for your Microsoft Windows & also confused why there are no Doors -
only Windows ??? Somebody forgot that know !!!

12. One friend told that there are Bites on his Computer but
he cant receive them. Can you also include some Bites in my Computer -
I mostly like Cadju and Rata Cadju and Bola Kadala but I like to try
anything interesting you also have !

Looking forward to your good service,

Best regards,

Your esteemed customer,
K.P.G. UDURAWANA. (Kiri Panu Gaya)
The House on the Hilly's


Udurawana : My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Friend : He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Udurawana : I didn't say he got out


Udurawana joined new job & got a chance of working with a computer for the 1st time.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Udurawana : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


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